Tag Archive: meetings

Honoring the Absent &Naming the Elephant

If a leader is unwilling to name the elephant in the room, yet is willing to name other people and their issues when they’re not in the room, he’s going to have trust issues… and likely dysfunction as well.

At our church’s recent staff retreat, we heard from Dr. Bill Wilson, director for The Center for Healthy Churches, regarding the issue of trust amongst staff.

Many insightful things were shared, but two ideas resonated with me. Wilson reminded me that when these issues aren’t handled correctly, they not only diminish trust among your staff over time, but they also have potential to elicit an immediate distrustful attitude towards you as a leader.

Naming the Elephant

When you ignore the issues everyone is thinking about, you’re unwilling to name the elephant. And an unnamed elephant grows bigger and bigger. Many other better writers and thinkers have already dealt with the idea of the elephant in the room, so I will just say this… I’ve never so clearly seen the connection between an unnamed elephant and trust.

When you don’t name the elephant and deal with it, it tells others you don’t have guts. That you’ll acquiesce on the harder things… that you’ll push them to the shadows, and hope no one notices. (I’ve written previously on the leader’s responsibility to investigate [elephant] issues.) Ignoring the elephant leads to a lack of trust with small and elephant-sized issues.

Honoring the Absent

Dishonoring the absent has many different forms, but the most common is gossip.

In one of the first talks I prepared in college, I remember telling a group of students that I perceived gossip to be the most common sin amongst Christians. I’m not sure I’d argue that so vehemently today, but as far as public sins of Christians go, it’s likely in the top three.

Like mine, your role likely requires you to discuss people when they’re not in the room. That isn’t necessarily wrong. But at times, our leadership discussions quickly turn to gossip. We’re saying things about people we know we wouldn’t say if they were in the room – and what’s worse, we’re saying them to people who shouldn’t be in the room to hear them.

You must be judicious with your words. At all costs, build others up, especially when they’re not in the room.

There’s way too much clarity in the Bible regarding gossip to argue for its justification. Yet we’ve fallen victim to lowering Biblical standards in this area. It’s a slow descent that can quickly impact how we honor our co-workers, and church members.

Remedying Bad Meetings

There’s a lot of leadership talk about minimizing meetings. People “loathe” them and church staffs are not immune to this sentiment. I contend those who loathe them are used to bad meetings, but meetings can be good. If maximized, they can produce far greater results than an email or individual “offline” meetings ever can.

But, it’s got to be a good meeting.

I’m pro-meeting. Well, I’m pro-good meeting. If your staff culture already has a meeting avoidance attitude, you’ll have to earn your right with good meetings. Here are some tips:

1. Use meetings for strategic discussions and email for operational items

Many operational items can be accomplished through email. So use that tool. But my experience says strategic discussions happen best in group settings. Collaborative thinking is a key ingredient to well thought out strategy.

2. Allow for margin between meetings

Some days I stack meeting upon meeting, which is poor time management and it means I’m not at my best for my next meeting. Space between meetings allows you to recalibrate, review your upcoming agenda, record output from previous meeting (a key follow-up for meetings you lead) and even check a few emails to make sure you can stay focused in your next meeting.

3. Respect the beginning time and ending time

I’ve blogged on this more than once. Speed of the leader, speed of the team. You owe it the meeting’s content and the people you’re involving to watch this time issue closely. You not only need to be mindful of promptness yourself, but hold those accountable who don’t respect it.

4. Include prayer

Sometimes prayer at the beginning is what is needed. Other times prayer at the end. But don’t hesitate to schedule prayer time during the meeting. Corporate prayer is a powerful thing. And when you’ve created space for it, it shows how much you value it.

5. Be prepared

When someone comes to a meeting you’re leading, a goal worth having is them thinking, “Wow, they were prepared.” That means documents were ready, you had given thought to the topic, and you have an objective for the meeting. If you don’t prove the meeting is important you, they won’t find it important either.

6. Make sure everyone knows their role

Are they there to receive assignments? Give input? A voter in a consensus decision? I feel much better about attending a meeting when I know what’s expected of me. If I know what’s expected, I can be prepared and also not be let down when I find out they have a role for me in the meeting other than what I was expecting.

7. Know when to cancel a meeting

Many meetings will be on a routine schedule, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be cancelled. When the agenda doesn’t call for an in-person meeting, cancel it.

8. Use the meeting to make your staff better

Consciously plan meeting content to develop those attending. This has been modeled well for me in the past and in many of my meetings, I plan portions of the meeting for teaching opportunities. We’re not doing “trust falls” every meeting, but I hope most of my meetings provide those in attendance to be a little more effective in their roles.

6 posts with "practical takeaways" for church leaders

I’ve now been blogging for six months. While I hope most of my posts provide “practical takeaways for church leaders,” some are more conducive to action than others. I’ve also learned from readers what posts have allowed for immediate application in church leadership.

In no particular order here are six posts with practical takeaways:

Church Crisis and The Media http://bbapt.us/1k5XI9K
Staff Succession Planning (interview with Josh Patterson of The Village Church) http://bbapt.us/1dqJa2P
How to Visit Churches to Worship and Not Compare http://bbapt.us/Hy3SDf
Meetings: Being Prepared But Saying The Least http://bbapt.us/1cJyAUV
Effectively Encouraging Those Around You http://bbapt.us/1c6kZ9r
Dealing With Employees Who Are Late to Work and Meetings http://bbapt.us/19BR5fV

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