Being Prepared, But Saying The Least — Meetings

boy covering mouth

Recently I attended a meeting with our church’s leadership, and as I drove home from it, two thoughts kept bothering me: I wasn’t prepared enough for the meeting, and I said too much in it.

The following week, I set up an appointment with an advisor for input on my meeting contribution. (The role of the advisor is captured well by Michael Hyatt in his post “Who Are Your ‘Trusted Advisors’?”.)

This advisor had heard me present in several meeting environments (including the most recent one), and had watched me interact with church staff and members. He recommended several points of improvement for me, but the one that was most impactful was this:

Be the most prepared guy (gal) at the meeting, with a plan to say the least.

We’ve all been in meetings with people who weren’t prepared to speak authoritatively on a subject, but did it anyway. They spouted content without substance. And even if spouting is done well, waxing eloquently doesn’t equate meaningful content.

We’ve also been in meetings with well-prepared people, who because they were so prepared, subsequently chose to take over a meeting with incessant talk. Again, filibustering doesn’t equate to quality content provider.

What’s the best mix of preparation and spoken contribution in a meeting?

Specifically, what’s the best plan of action when you’re a participant in the meeting, but not facilitating it?

On Being Prepared… a few reminders, for prior to the meeting

  • Have I gathered all my facts?
  • What questions can I anticipate on this agenda topic?
  • Have I searched my paper files and e-mail for all correspondence which may be relative to the meeting topic?
  • Have I studied enough that I have key information and metrics in my head?

On Saying Little… a few reminders, for during the meeting

  • Only speak to a topic after you’ve answered this question to yourself:

Am I speaking to bring value to the conversation, or for some other less worthy reason?

  • Resist the urge to control the output or concerns of others.
  • Listen reflectively.
  • Don’t formulate rebuttal comments while others are speaking.

I’ve by no means got all this down. After most meetings I lead or participate in, I feel there’s ways I can improve.

Wouldn’t it be nice if people said about this about us after they left a meeting…

“They don’t talk a lot, but when they do, they bring a lot of value”?

 

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Discovering You’re Dispensable

I knew it based on experience. Multiple times I’d seen it.

A church can get along just fine after losing a key leader.

I’d studied the principle of dispensable and indispensable leaders in our church’s leadership course, Model-Netics. I’d counseled other leaders about the idea that they, like me, we’re replaceable.

But I didn’t fully realize how dispensable I was until I left a church after 13 years and the phone never rang.

Work-related e-mails and texts from my former church were minimal. The church office didn’t fall apart. People were still ministered to. All the so-called Brian-centric things I’d done while serving there—driven by my particular skill-set and gifts—kept happening too.

After 15 months away, I returned to my former church to celebrate the pastor’s 20th anniversary. The connection and relationships to the people there were still as rich as ever. But it was on the trip, this theoretical idea of dispensability became reality for me.

Was it like my friend Stephen puts it? Was I “a legend in my own mind”?

I’ve blogged on self-deprecation before. And although I suggested it can be a good thing, this post isn’t that. This post is about a biblical truth and a leadership principle:

God cares more about His Church than He cares who gets to lead His Church.

God has plans, and they’ll be accomplished whether you or I are driving them or not.

Being dispensable doesn’t mean you’re not valuable to your church. It means God’s plans and where He places value is different–seen from an eternal perspective. We see it throughout the Bible. God continually raises up new leaders to carry out His purposes.

Learning and dealing with your dispensability is difficult on your ego, but good for your leadership acumen.

Once you realize you’re dispensable, it’ll help your leadership in these ways:

  • You’ll be less concerned with titles and accolades—less entitlement.
  • You’ll work harder.
  • You’ll be less likely to build your ministry as a silo in your church.
  • You’ll be less concerned with your legacy and more concerned with Christ’s legacy.
  • You’ll focus less on impressing others and more on making an impression on lives.
  • You’ll set up initiatives and goals that can be realized long after you’re gone.
  • You’ll be motivated to serve others on your leadership team.
  • You’ll figure out how to invest in leaders around you, who can lead in your absence.

It’s not that you and I aren’t valuable; it’s that what we do is bigger than us.

The sooner we understand our limits and finiteness, the bigger impact we’ll make in what we currently do.

If you’re working to make yourself dispensable, then you’re likely working at making your church and service to Christ better.

Here’s to celebrating dispensability.

 

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3 Months Blogging and My 3 Most Read Posts

I’ve now been blogging three months, and if you missed them when they were published, here are my three most read posts:

The Humble Brag Among Ministers http://bbapt.us/17wqjA5

How You’re Disrespecting Others http://bbapt.us/19BR5fV

How To Create A Compelling Church Budget http://bbapt.us/14zw2py

And because I’m in a giving mood, here’s #4 and 5 too:

When Success = Lost Focus http://bbapt.us/1fhD4qb

What Lice Taught Me About Evangelism http://bbapt.us/1b0Ma82

 

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