Thinking Gray

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The times when I implement “thinking gray,” I have most often saved myself from making a poor decision and usually save myself time. Steven Sample, in his book The Contrarians Guide to Leadership, unpacks the idea of “thinking gray.”

The major takeaway is this: when an important decision isn’t mandated to be made at the moment it’s asked for, pause and think gray. Thinking gray means this:

  • Back away;
  • Don’t pull the trigger when more time could help bring clarity;
  • And set the decision point just prior to the deadline for the decision.

It may seem as if you’re dragging things out and procrastinating. But the created mean-time can provide your answer. What transpires before the decision deadline can be magical.

The people asking for your decision often find other ways to go about getting what they need. The decision-seekers think creatively and often think of a work-around to get a solution. And oftentimes, some external factor occurs and renders your pending decision null.

Thinking gray also gives you time to think clearly and do a virtual SWOT in your head. Many times you’ll come back to your initial thought (gut reaction) on making the decision. But many times, things change, and you have no decision to make.

When you can save your decision-making for the highest leadership questions—the decisions no else can make—the better off you and your organization will be. You only have so much personal power, and saving that power for critical decisions has pay-offs.

A simple way to begin the process of “thinking gray” is to ask these questions when a decision has been requested:

  • What options and solutions have you (the asker) considered?
  • Who else is involved in making the decision?
  • What’s the deadline for a decision being reached?

By nature, I tend to be black and white. I like quick results. But paradoxically, thinking gray has served me well and might do the same for you.

 

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When Success = Lost Focus

Out of the blue, Mary had agreed to go on a date with me.  Not just any Mary, but Mary Hallums, who was arguably the “hottest girl” in the 10th grade (language I used in high school).

Internally, I was still waiting to appear on an MTV episode of “Punked,” but decided externally to act like I was a worthy recipient of Mary’s attention.

It was just a few years (or more) before things started going viral online, but I still somehow created a viral-like buzz at Sahuaro High School.

Short of printing t-shirts to pass out, I let everyone know about our scheduled date. But three days before the date, my cockiness caught up to me.

In a packed library, with an open staircase, I made my way down the stairs and noticed a serendipitous moment approaching. My ex-girlfriend (my choice, of course) and my soon-to-be date, Mary, stood together at the card catalog (those sub-35 years of age—just Google it) at the base of the stairs.

While preparing to unveil my cocky smirk to declare my date-dominance, I cleared my throat to gain their attention, but then it happened. My focus on the girls caused me to miss a stair. Actually, I missed one stair, and rolled down the other fifteen.

When success happens in churches, misguided focus is a real threat. And like me, a church can stumble.

It looks like this:

• A church has God’s spirit on it and people begin getting saved in records numbers. All the staff become focal points of how’d-you-do-it questions from others and they lose sight of God and their kingdom goals.

• A pastor uses his God-given gift of preaching effectively and gains national attention—book deals, interviews, and subsequently, sub-par sermons not infused with the Spirit.

• Your church figures out how to care for the community effectively. People notice and you create a conference to tell people how to do it. But the conference uses all your resources and you no longer pass the church’s resources to the community.

There would‘ve been nothing wrong with a date with Mary. But a date with the “hottest girl” shouldn’t have taken my attention from the important thing in that moment—in my case, the next stair.

There’s nothing wrong with passing along best practices, hosting conferences, great preaching, or even God-given success. But don’t allow your ministry successes to take away from what God has called you to focus on.

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Why Ministers Don't Pray Well

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The church I attended in college had a 24/7 prayer ministry. Hourly, four volunteers crammed into a small room with four cubicles and were available by phone to pray with anyone who called in.

I felt I should be a part of this. The only consistent time on a weekly basis for my one-hour slot was Thursday at 7:00 a.m. While this doesn’t sound terribly early now, it was to a college student.

Many times, I remember flying out of my chair when the phone in my cubicle would ring. While I was supposed to be praying though a list of needs, I would doze off and the sound of a phone four inches from your ear is quite startling. I could sleep during “prayer time” without causing much suspicion, but I could never effectively cover springing out of my chair to my “prayer partners” in the room.

At that life-stage, I was overwhelmed by a need for sleep. Now as a minister, I’m overwhelmed with the amount of matters to pray for on a consistent basis.

This feeling isn’t exclusive to ministers. No one can pray for everything that deserves attention. But a minister’s role has some unique pressures to pray comprehensively and well (my working definition of well: in the moment; not haphazardly; pleasing to God).

When I’ve become overwhelmed with prayer needs, I sometimes don’t pray at all. Or if I do, it lacks focus. In my frustration of feeling inadequate, a worse thing happens. Not only am I not interceding for others, but I miss my time in conversation with God altogether.

Recently I came up with a way to order my prayer life so I’d avoid being overwhelmed. My prayer life changes in seasons of my life, but this is serving my prayer life well now. I pray in buckets.

For each day of the week, I’ve drawn a bucket in my journal. In pencil, I write in each bucket some areas of intercession. I spread out the major areas of intercession into one of the seven buckets:

•             My wife and each of my children have a day.

•             Each of the ministry departments I help to oversee have a day. For each department, I pray for the staff in that department and unique items they may be dealing with.

•             Each day has a different pastor that’s important to me.

•             Ultimately, each day’s bucket has 4-6 topics (aforementioned groups, extended family members, those with illness, job loss, specific people I know who need Christ).

My bucket-praying assumes a few things:

1.            I’m confessing and expressing gratefulness to God as a part of every day’s prayer time.

2.            I’m not limited by buckets. I must remain obedient to whatever the Spirit brings to my mind or crisis that are time specific and not listed in a bucket.

3.            I’m engaging “whisper” prayer moments throughout the day when prompted.

If you’re overwhelmed in prayer, whether bucket-praying or not, I encourage you to find some solution to effective and consistent prayer.

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