Posted in Church Staff

Hiring Family| Avoiding Nepotism On Church Staffs

It was my choice to recommend the student minister hire to our church’s personnel team. But the decision also had to be validated by the church membership. And the decision to hire the Pastor’s daughter as student minister came with some turmoil.

I wanted the best student minister available to the church. And she was that.

Yes, she was a female being considered for what has typically been a male role. And yes, she was the eldest daughter of my boss, the Pastor.

Our church’s personnel team had their own decisions to make before taking the recommendation to the church, but I also had to think through how her hire would impact my role personally. If hired, she’d be a direct to report to me, and I’d still be a direct report to her dad. Conflict of my interest?

I had to weigh out the consequences if things went wrong—consequences for the candidate, the Pastor, the Church, and me.

Are you in a similar situation? Could you be?

In the church I serve now, multiple employees have family serving on our staff. I don’t believe being an immediate family member of an existing employee should exclude a person from being considered for a position. But if you’re going to consider a hire like this, you need to have clear policies in place to protect those involved and to protect against nepotism.

Beyond a well thought out policy (click here to read my church’s policy), here are other things to consider:

  • Is there an appropriate amount of reporting lines in between the two persons? I’d suggest at least two, and ideally more. Family supervising family opens everyone up to trouble.
  • Family members who are employees may be held to a higher standard (warranted or not) by church members and by other church staff. If nothing else, more eyes are going to be on the family members. Questioning vacation time? Confidentially? Others can transpose expectations of one person or position to both persons or positions, even if not merited. Is the candidate aware of this?
  • Can you manage perceptions—specifically the perception of nepotism? At least quarterly, there needs to be a conversation between you and the staff member who reports to you, addressing any issues (or even hints of issues) related to nepotism.
  • Have established air cover. You need to have a direct line to whichever group oversees your paid-staff (elders, personnel team, etc.). I believe in following reporting guidelines, but if your family issue revolves around your supervisor, you need air cover. Establish these in advance with your supervisor’s knowledge.
  • Be aware of their exit impact. If one employee leaves the church for good or bad reasons, you’ll potentially lose both of them. Your church’s work productivity can be quickly jeopardized by losing two staff members. This is the trade-off, so it just needs to be considered.

Because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, if you have a committed and productive staffer and they have a family member also inclined to serve the church, then there’s a good chance they’ll also perform at high standards. So in many cases, it’s worth the risks. But know that there are, in fact, risks.

P.S. In regard to the Pastor’s daughter the church hired, it worked out. She still serves on staff, has had a meaningful ministry, and has successfully avoided nepotism.

 

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Visiting Another Church? 6 Ways To Avoid Comparing

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If you serve at a church, you’ve probably experienced the temptation to judge other churches.

You’re away on vacation or visiting your in-laws (notice that I don’t believe visiting in-laws is a vacation), and you decide to go to church. You arrive at the church with the intention of worshipping God, but you end up comparing.

  • You compare their church services to your church services.
  • You compare their practices to your church’s practices.
  • You compare their pastor to your pastor. (I’ve blogged about what I call church leader jealously syndrome.)
  • You compare their child security to your child security.
  • You compare their music and production quality to your church’s music and production quality.

These comparisons may lead to a sense of pride, or they may lead to coveting. You either self-righteously think God has blessed your church more than theirs, or you perceive a gap in what they have versus what you have. Whatever your conclusion, it doesn’t lead to worshipping God.

It leads to judging. And it’s not your job.

The Apostle Paul critiqued several churches, and James critiqued his own church in Jerusalem. Even Jesus critiqued seven famous (infamous) churches. But when they did this, they were dealing with sin issues. They weren’t judging the production of a worship service, or the cleanliness and security of the childcare rooms.

You’ve got 60-90 minutes to be there. You can use it engaging God, or engaging in the comparison game.  One choice pleases God.

I know firsthand that it’s not easy to turn off your staff minister mindset, so I have some simple things that help minimize the comparison distraction.

Practical takeaways to avoid comparison while visiting other churches:

1. Pray in advance, specifically for the Spirit to help you focus on God and not on other things.

2. Arrive just in time. Waiting in common areas or in your seat allows idle time for critical eyes to search out a church’s inadequacies.

3. Worship in a denomination different than yours —it’s easier not to judge when you’re not comparing apples to apples.

4. Don’t peruse or pick up their church collateral or bulletin. You’re there only once, and you really don’t need to know their purpose statement or what they’re serving at their Wednesday night meal. Reading bulletins and brochures almost always leads to comparing.

5. Celebrate the differences they have in worship practices.

6. Throughout the whole experience, ask yourself – “What is God trying to teach me?”  instead of “What can I take away as transferable to my church?”)

Unless you’re a paid church consultant, stay away from the comparing game. Most often, it tempts you to break the tenth commandment, and it keeps you from worship that’s pleasing to God.

 

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5 Ways To Bless Your Church Staff During The Holidays

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Most everyone knows the anticipation Clark Griswold felt waiting for his Christmas bonus in the movie Christmas Vacation. He had grand plans for the money…a pool for his family. We also know the disappointment Clark felt when his bonus ended up being a one-year membership to the “jelly of the month club.”

As Cousin Eddie proclaimed, it was the gift “that keeps on giving.”

What we desire for holiday gifts, and what we actually get is usually not one in the same (“Wow, thanks, tube socks.”)

It’s doubtful a member of your church staff has put a down payment on a pool hoping for a Christmas bonus to cover the cost. It’s also doubtful a church staff member would turn down a cash bonus, or even a gift card. But I wanted to provide you some other ways to think about providing bonuses, or blessing to your staff.

If you lead a staff, or are in a place that could provide these to the staff of your church, here are some suggested ideas somewhere between the jelly of the month club and a pool:

5 ways to bless your staff during the holidays:

  1. Close the church office the week between Christmas and New Year’s (and don’t count it as their vacation time). Use a receptionist and a minister on call to coordinate ministry that week.
  2. Have a staff party and include spouses if possible.
  3. Utilize a retired minister for hospital visiting and other pastoral care needs over the key days of Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  4. Send a hand-written note of gratefulness.
  5. Take a key staff member and their spouse out for a nice dinner.

Every idea would require some work and tweaks based on your church’s situation, but you get the idea.

Keep the jelly membership for yourself, and bless staff in whatever other ways you can.

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