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Keeping Your Kids And Your Call To Ministry

“Brian, they don’t care what happened at work. They don’t care that you’ve surpassed your 7,000 word allotment for the day, or that you could have worked three more hours and still left things undone. They care about you spending time with them.”

This is often the speech I give myself as I pull into my cul-de-sac after work.

In a two part blog, I wanted to give some practical takeaways that have allowed me to keep my job, but also keep my family (and in some cases, thrive in both).

Like you, I have work commitments many evenings… But when I’m home… I need to be completely there.

I believe God has given me the chance to be involved in important work each day, at my church. But it’s those three hours in the evening that require me to offer my best time, in a much less public setting. It’s the time between ending work and kissing my last child goodnight.

The implications:

From 5:30 -8:00 p.m. I avoid working from my phone. It’s still on, should someone need to call me – but I’m not checking emails. (This is easiest if you turn off your phone’s email alerts.)
Before getting to my house, I often stop down the street to write my last emails from my phone. That way, I can enter the house and not send last-minute emails in front of my kids.
People have to wait for my email response. Whenever I can, I return emails quickly, but not during this timeframe.
I’ve already had to have spent time one on one with God. I know I won’t give my best time to my family or church unless I’ve already given God my best early in the day.

Driveway Prayers

The internal monologue I mentioned above is usually followed by a prayer. It’s my driveway prayer. It simply asks God to help me give my best to my wife and family for the next 2-3 hours – and I sit in my driveway until I feel God providing me peace about that commitment.

I’m not perfect…

… Sometimes urgent ministry needs interrupt those 2-3 hours

… Sometimes I squeeze in a quick look at my emails while my kids are consumed with another activity or my wife is engaged elsewhere

… And sometimes, my preoccupations with ministry induce me to say “I’m busy, pal” to my four-year-old boy when he says in his raspy voice, “Dad, play dinosaurs with me.”

I believe God created me for a purpose. Part of that purpose is the ministry in His local church. And part is loving my family fully with my mind, body, and heart’s attention.

My ministry work gets 8-12 hours of my day, at least five days a week. But with God’s help, my family gets my “best” hours that week.

Practical Takeaways:

Have your spouse give feedback on what or who is getting the “best” part of your day.
Commit to an email, social media fast during a set time so you can focus on family.
Become a driveway pray-er.

An Opportunity To Learn and Do Ministry

Earlier this week I wrote about the value of both seminary and ministry experience. What I didn’t mention in that blog is the growing number of ministry residencies available to those called to ministry.

Like in medical school, a residency gives you an in-depth look into local church ministry while providing relationships, group learning, and experience in doing ministry.

My church, Brentwood Baptist wants to develop church leaders, so we are launching The Ministry Residency at Brentwood Baptist in August.

The application process has begun and we want to find the right residents to be a part of what we’re offering. If you are someone who’d be interested or know someone who might be, direct them to the residency website: BrentwoodResidency.com.

There they’ll find all the needed information about the residency and a way to apply.

Of course I’m partial, but I believe the learning and experience that will be provided by some really great ministry leaders at our campuses will be extremely valuable to anyone who wants to be the best minster for Christ they can be.

Seminary or Experience – which one's best?

If you’re hiring a minister at your church, would you prefer they have three years of solid experience serving in a church, or is it more valuable to have a seminary degree?

A seminary degree can indicate:

They’ve shown they can complete something they started.
Solid writing skills, which should translate well to ministry work.
Commitment to a calling. No matter the degree program, seminary is a commitment of time, focus, and of course, finances.
Solid theology. Their home-made theology has been challenged, and hopefully their theology has formed…
Critical-thinking skills.

Obviously, a degree can indicate more than just these items. A good student will take in all they can, and bring several other transferable qualities to ministry work. But even then – is seminary all that is necessary? There is also a lot of value in experience.

Three years of ministry experience can indicate:

Although perhaps young, someone thought they could do the job.
Healthy expectations. Nothing can replace reps… Three years of dealing with church-members, budget, hospital-visits, and teaching should provide a more balanced perspective of vocational ministry.
They know their gifts, strengths, and weaknesses. They’ve had time to self-examine in the crucible of ministry. They’ve had time to determine where they’re deficient in ministry leadership, and begin a development plan.

What I consider to be the best of both worlds is of course…both.

When I see seminary experience on a resume and no concurrent ministry experience (volunteer or paid), I have hesitations.

When I see ministry experience on a resume and no seminary experience, I have questions.

If your calling is vocational ministry, get involved in ministry as soon as you feel called. Seminary accentuates and prepares, but in my opinion, it doesn’t beget ministry. Seminary is most beneficial to the minister already participating in active ministry.

While in college or seminary, find a place to serve. If it can be a paid role, great. That streamlines your time so you don’t have to work an additional job to pay for life (and a paid staff role versus a volunteer role will get you deeper and more truer experiences).

Both ministry and seminary experience are valuable. And if I have to choose one over the other when considering a ministerial candidate for our staff, I make sure to use lots of other vetting ideas to help me determine the right choice (I’ve blogged previously about some of our hiring processes).

Takeaways:

As a hiring church, don’t let seminary completion be the sole or even primary determiner of who you hire.
If you’re called to ministry, get experience and begin seminary as soon as you can.

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