Tag Archive: meetings

Consensus Or Input — Clarity For Your Meetings

When inviting feedback from a group, are you seeking consensus or just input?

Photo courtesy of iStockphoto®

Knowing what you want, and communicating that expectation to the group, is an important task for a leader to do well.

Many leaders invite dialogue from a group of people, as if they’re looking for consensus among the group for a decision. But in reality, the leader only wants their input, not their consensus. This is often done unintentionally but it can be a fatal leadership mistake.

The group hears a leader say, “I want unanimity amongst all of you.” But then the leader leaves the group, goes back to his/her office, considers their opinions, and declares a decision on his or her own.

Seeking feedback and input in order to reach a decision point is perfectly fine, but only if the people from whom you sought feedback know what role their feedback is going to have.

A leader must be clear about what they desire from the groups they’re dialoguing with.

Consider one of these opening comments at your next group-think sessions:

“I need to reach a decision. I’ll ultimately make the final call, but your input would help me formulate my decision. Will you provide me feedback?”

“I value and trust your opinions, and I want your help in reaching a decision. Whatever the consensus of this group is when we leave is the action I’ll take.”

I think either statement is appropriate for a leader to make, but let the group know their role in the decision making process.

Another serious leadership gaff is to provide a group the opportunity to give feedback for a decision you’ve already made. At best, it’s poor relational intelligence. At worst, it’s lying.

If you’re going to make a decision unilaterally, that’s fine, but own up to it.

Practical Takeaways for everyday church leadership:

When seeking input, be transparent with your intentions.
Don’t ask for input if you’re not going to use it or at least consider it.
If you’re making your decisions Lone Ranger style, own up to it.

Being Prepared, But Saying The Least — Meetings

Recently I attended a meeting with our church’s leadership, and as I drove home from it, two thoughts kept bothering me: I wasn’t prepared enough for the meeting, and I said too much in it.

The following week, I set up an appointment with an advisor for input on my meeting contribution. (The role of the advisor is captured well by Michael Hyatt in his post “Who Are Your ‘Trusted Advisors’?”.)

This advisor had heard me present in several meeting environments (including the most recent one), and had watched me interact with church staff and members. He recommended several points of improvement for me, but the one that was most impactful was this:

Be the most prepared guy (gal) at the meeting, with a plan to say the least.

We’ve all been in meetings with people who weren’t prepared to speak authoritatively on a subject, but did it anyway. They spouted content without substance. And even if spouting is done well, waxing eloquently doesn’t equate meaningful content.

We’ve also been in meetings with well-prepared people, who because they were so prepared, subsequently chose to take over a meeting with incessant talk. Again, filibustering doesn’t equate to quality content provider.

What’s the best mix of preparation and spoken contribution in a meeting?

Specifically, what’s the best plan of action when you’re a participant in the meeting, but not facilitating it?

On Being Prepared… a few reminders, for prior to the meeting

Have I gathered all my facts?
What questions can I anticipate on this agenda topic?
Have I searched my paper files and e-mail for all correspondence which may be relative to the meeting topic?
Have I studied enough that I have key information and metrics in my head?

On Saying Little… a few reminders, for during the meeting

Only speak to a topic after you’ve answered this question to yourself:

Am I speaking to bring value to the conversation, or for some other less worthy reason?

Resist the urge to control the output or concerns of others.
Listen reflectively.
Don’t formulate rebuttal comments while others are speaking.

I’ve by no means got all this down. After most meetings I lead or participate in, I feel there’s ways I can improve.

Wouldn’t it be nice if people said about this about us after they left a meeting…

“They don’t talk a lot, but when they do, they bring a lot of value”?

How You’re Disrespecting Others

We’ve all done it.

But the occasional occurrence isn’t the issue. It’s the pattern that’s the problem.

It’s being late—habitually late.

Primarily, I’m focusing on lateness in the work environment.

A pattern (more than 1/5 meetings) of lateness communicates one thing to the others in the room:

“My time and work is more important than your time and work.”

You’d likely never say those words, but that’s often how it’s interpreted.

I don’t believe, nor do I model, that the higher on the org chart you are, the more margin you have for lateness. Promptness and respect are a cultural ethos thing, and it emanates from the leader(s). If in fact your time is more valuable than others’ time, then be courteous enough to either:

1. Let others know you’ll be late;

2. Or have the meeting set at an alternative time that works for you.

How to modify your habitual lateness:

• If a meeting is called, it’s likely collaborative. If you’re invited, it implies you add value in the collaboration. When you’re not there, you can’t collaborate. You lose value.

• Even if the meeting isn’t collaborative, your supervisor wants you there. You should respect his or her wishes. (If you don’t think you need to attend the meeting, address that with your supervisor in a respectful and thought-out plan at the appropriate time.)

• Being late creeps into longer lateness. It begins with five minutes. To you, no harm, no foul. But then next time, it’s ten minutes, and you begin an expanding pattern. It creeps into others, and you begin setting an unhealthy cultural ethos.

• Consider how you feel when you host meetings or schedule something, and people are late. It’s a sign of disrespect—and it impacts the plans you had.

How to deal with habitually-late people:

• Make promptness a part of your ethos. Clearly communicate the expectation, and then model it as the leader.

• Start meetings on time—no matter who’s not there. (At least when they walk in late, they’ll realize they’re, in fact, late.)

• After 2-3 infractions, challenge the person. Do it privately, but do it. It could sound like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been late to our meetings for several weeks in a row. I realize you’ve got a lot of things going on, and you produce a lot of great results, but the chronic lateness is something we don’t allow. I want you to be diligent in being on time. When you are, it communicates to others on the team that you’re in with them, and you share in the mutual responsibility of using everyone’s time well.”

• As much as possible, be conscientious of setting meeting times when they’re likely going to work for the majority of invitees.

If you’re “the late person,” I challenge you to focus on being prompt for your next three meetings.

If you lead those who are “the late person,” challenge them within the next week.

Email me or message me, I’d love to hear how your late experiment goes.

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