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Church Staff & The Minion Treatment

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There’s a direct correlation between the person who interrupts others and monopolizes conversations, and where they’re placed on the organizational chart. And recent studies have shown that the more leadership responsibilities you have, the more likely you are to become that person.

Daniel Goleman, in article for Harvard Business Review (December 2013) describes how conversation-monopolizers and conversation-interrupters usually increase their poor habits as they move higher on an organizational chart or in social standing.

We’ve all seen this happen. It’s the church member whose family was involved in founding the church… it’s the long tenured staff member… it’s the employee who’s just moved positions and been provided more staff oversight.

Goleman’s article points out that as leaders rise in an organization, their ability to perceive and maintain a personal connection begins to wane. This is called psychic attrition. He summarizes a Berkeley psychologist who says “higher-ranking individuals consistently focus their gaze less on lower-ranking people and are more likely to interrupt or to monopolize the conversation.”

Sociologists are able to watch the conversational interactions in a workplace and closely map who fits where on their organization chart. Our churches are not exempt from these studies. Could a sociologist come into your ministry area and pinpoint where people fit on an org chart? They’re not measuring who’s leading the meetings they view – they’re measuring who’s being rude to whom.

This is not always true and it doesn’t have to be true of you and me. In fact, I hope if sociologists were to study church staffs, they’d find a gap in their theory. However, I’m a realist and I’ve been around enough church staffs to know we’re not immune.

Bottom line: the higher we rise, the more responsibility we get, the more likely we are to pay less attention or care less deeply for the people below us.

If you’re still reading and haven’t moved on to a different blog site with a bigger title, you still may be thinking this doesn’t apply to you. When you think psychic attrition, you think of your Pastor or chairman of your leadership council – but not yourself. Surely a minister in the church wouldn’t forget or ignore the little people. Right? Wrong. It happens.

How do you fair in psychic attrition? As you’ve moved up on the org chart, gotten bigger titles and more degrees, have your personal connections dropped? Are your conversations with people directly linked to what their position title deserves?

To get the most accurate grading of your psychic attrition, ask a trusted staff person or spouse what they’ve observed – and take their feedback seriously.

Our propensity toward psychic attrition (or as I call it, a “too big for your britches” or “too busy for the little people” mentality) can be corrected. Begin asking God for help. We have the opposite of psychic attrition modeled for us by Jesus, so let’s follow his example. I have a feeling if Goleman’s sociologists were to observe Jesus and His followers, and try to map His leadership style, they’d likely have their org chart inverted.

Fight back against psychic attrition with baby steps:

For a day, commit to not interrupting a single person… hear people out, even if they have meandering explanations or their stories aren’t an efficient use of your time.
Learn the names and stories of people far below you on an org chart, or those who aren’t in your current leadership circles.
Speak less in meetings—don’t monopolize. (I’ve previously blogged about the appropriate amount of talking at meetings.)

Next week, I’ll summarize some more thoughts about empathy amongst leaders, and what Goleman says is a specific type of empathy leaders need to have.

Sandwich Board Guys and Church Methodology

I had visceral feelings when I noticed him. I’d seen this guy before, but not in years, and not in my neighborhood. The feelings his presence and message elicited were strong, perhaps sinful. Standing at the corner of the intersection, with a sandwich board draped over his shoulders, his board’s message declared: “Believe on Jesus. Repent or burn!” Ironically, my reaction to his message made me need to repent (but not for my salvation). I have my reasons for believing his methodology is poor, and maybe you do too. I find it to be:

Outdated
Offensive
Rapport and relationship killing
Disconnected with the gospels. I have a hard time seeing Jesus carrying his message that way
Ineffective. While I have no hard evidence, I doubt many people have seen such a sign, gotten out of their cars, walked up to the sign carrier and said, “Tell me more about believing on Jesus.” However, I’m sure many people have walked up to these sign carriers to say or do other things, other than inquire about Jesus.

But his message and methodology did cause me to think about our church’s methodologies. Not just for evangelism, but also for the many other things we do.

Likely, this particular man’s message and methodology were more about his own personality than Jesus’.

Which got me thinking… Does our church’s programming reflect our personality rather than Jesus’? Does our church’s ethos reflect our church’s DNA rather than Jesus’ DNA?

How many of the things our churches do, your church does, are personality driven? Are our ministries created and perpetuated by the pastor’s or staff member’s likeable personality, or by their alignment with Biblical expectations?

How many of our methods are out of touch with Biblical mandates? For the sake of being progressive and living in a post-modern world, have we created missions, messages, and methodologies that have sharply diverted from Jesus’ mission (e.g., Matt 28:19-20, Luke 4:18-19, Acts 1:8)?

Have we become just another sandwich board guy, using methods that are offensive (to Jesus) and ineffective?

I suggest we pray and take inventory of our mission and methodologies, and consider if they’re relevant to Jesus. Ask yourself this: If Jesus had one opportunity to share his message to the world through our church, would he use the methods you’re using?

p.s. I’ll give the sandwich board guy some credit; at least he works his method. I have a methodology for sharing Jesus that I think is superior to his, but I don’t always do it. Once you’ve determined the method that best reflects Jesus, work it.

The Right Amount Of Transparency In Interviews

“I love my family and church too much to enter into a process that’s anything less than transparent. The stakes are too high for us.”

This is the statement I made to my interviewer during his second call in the selection process. The process would mean leaving my church, and joining the staff of another one.

I could only speak for myself, but during that call I also knew much was at stake for the church I was talking to.

Prior to our conversation, I’d determined I couldn’t, with good conscience, misrepresent or conceal things about myself – even things that might steer them away from me as a candidate.

I’ve learned when you conceal things in an interview process, you’re just postponing the inevitable…everyone eventually finds out the fit isn’t so great, and there can be detrimental fall-out.

I think every minister and church seeking a future together has this goal of offering transparency in all things, but carrying it out through the whole selection process can be difficult.

Dealing with things on the front end is worth it. When you are called by God to serve in vocational ministry, it’s imperative you stay honest with those seeking to minister with you.

After I made that comment in the interview process, I began to do what I said I would. All my shortcomings, all their bad church experiences, needed to be on the table.

Now, you can’t rely on either the interviewer or yourself to speak total truth about the situation. You have a skewed view and see things from your perspective – and so do they. That’s why personality assessments and resumes with helpful references are key (two topics I’ve posted on previously).

I’m not saying you shouldn’t strive for good first impressions or that you should share every childhood sin – but withholding relevant information or part of your personality will only hinder the relationship.

God made you who you are. God has a plan for your life. When we try to manipulate appearances in order to get what we think we want, it hurts us and the churches involved.

My suggested practical takeaway if you’re taking to a church or a church in the hiring process: commit to God and each other, to be resolved to be transparent throughout the process. Agree that the stakes are too high to do anything less.