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Better Writing For Your Church

Either learn to write effectively or let your church’s message get lost in a world of other less important messages. The church’s message is paramount, and we’ve got to effectively delivery it.

In this video interview, successful Content Activist Ben Stroup provides tips on how to beat the “digital distraction” most of your church members live in. So whether you’re writing emails to church members, blurbs for your church’s bulletin and newsletter, or a white paper to convince your committees of an initiative, this 12 minute video will provide you some practical takeaways for everyday church leadership.

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Hooters and Me (and you)

After feeling convicted about not having any un-churched friends, I quit my church softball team and joined a co-ed city league. I didn’t know that the local Hooters restaurant had a team in the league.

As I was warming up before a game, I kept noticing Hooters’ girls arrive in their typical service uniforms (from what I’ve been told). I did think it strange that they were wearing stirrups, though. That’s when my teammate said excitedly, “We’re playing the Hooters’ girls!”

My mind raced. Do I feign an injury? Do I call my wife now, as to avoid a problem later? (I’ve posted previously on problem-avoidance.) Then I wondered, “How many church members are going to see me fraternizing with the competition? What will they think? Could I lose my job over this?”

As I walked to the plate for my turn at bat, everything in me said I should strike out and head back to the dugout with no Hooters’ employee interaction. But pride got the best of me, and I mustered a hit that got me to the first base. While standing there, the first base-woman began playing 20 questions with me.

I remember thinking – just keep your eyes on her cleats, and you won’t get in trouble.

Similar to many professions, ministers are faced with the challenges of perception, judgment, and image management. Some of it fair, some of it not.

Some practical takeaways about dealing with perceptions of church-members, and anyone else watching:

  1. Get used to being watched. Really, get comfortable with it.
  2. Besides other people’s expectations of you, God has also clearly said that he has high expectations for those who lead his church (James 3:1 and Titus 1:7-9).
  3. Be above reproach.
  4. Don’t shy away from being around non-Christians just because you might be judged. Jesus did it. But also…
  5. Remember, you’re not Jesus. So don’t let your presence with non-Christians lead to practices of non-Christians.
  6. Don’t pretend to be someone in public who you’re not in private — you should be consistent.
  7. Don’t be afraid to show flaws to others, but don’t perpetuate or celebrate consistent wrong living.
  8. Don’t host staff lunches at Hooters. Not even for their wings.
  9. You probably shouldn’t go Hooters at all (see #6).
  10. If your softball team ever does play a Hooters’ team, trust me, strike out (marriage tip).

Hooters’ eating is likely not a sin—but you’re an example, find wings elsewhere or order out.

As a minister, you can complain that you live in a glass house, or you can own it as the platform that God has set you on for a reason, and set a worthy example for those watching.

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Hard Conversation Pointers for Members and Staff

face to face

The Latin term for confrontation means – “to turn your face toward; to look at fully.”

For many people, confrontation is something they do passively while walking away from another person, or a reply they make to a tweet or email. But as leaders in the church, we can’t afford to confront cowardly (or sinfully).

In their book Boundaries, Face to Face, @DrHenryCloud and @DrJohnTownsend suggest that “boundary conversations” are “motivated and driven by love, and also are focused and have an agenda.” These are two important components of a confrontation conversation that has boundaries.

It’s critical for church leaders to have hard conversations well. If not done well, such conversations may contribute to festering sin, and might also create a chasm between you and the person being confronted. If that happens, it will make it difficult for you to worship together and do church life together.

Before you decide to initiate a hard conversation like this with someone, determine two things:

  1. Is this something you can overlook? (Proverbs 19:11) Many would-be confrontations can be stopped at this point. Ask yourself – is this person doing something that is wrong, or is it simply something I don’t prefer? If it’s the latter, choose to overlook.
  2. Are my reasons for the conversation motivated and driven by love? In other words, is it driven and motivated by a greater good?

If you’ve determined the offense should not be overlooked, and the confrontation is motivated by love and the greater good, then make the choice to confront the person within these boundaries:

  • Determine your agenda. Be specific. Deal with the most pressing issue, and then stay on agenda. Non-focused confrontations deal with too many issues and instances, and rarely get to resolution.
  • Call the meeting at a time that gives you the best chance for success. Try to be flexible, and adjust to their timing if possible. If they’re not a morning person, than avoid breakfast meetings.
  • Pray… for the other person, their receiving of the message, your attitude, and for God-honoring resolution.
  • Prepare your delivery. Most experts agree you have somewhere between 30 seconds and three minutes to set the tone of a conflict conversation, and that tone is determinative of the outcome. Prepare well for that thirty seconds.
  • Know your desired outcome. Know what equates to success in this confrontation. Allow room for the other person to speak into this, but know what you hope to achieve.
  • Make sure you get to the last 2%. This is the hardest part of the conversation. This is the part that may take people aback. But the last 2% is the reason for the conversation. Say what you need to say. Make sure it’s delivered clearly. Without it, you’ve just engaged in a hard conversation that was all preface.

When you’re done, ask yourself these questions:

  • Did I say anything un-becoming as a Christian?
  • Did I stay on agenda?
  • Did I say the last 2%?
  • Did I listen well to their response?
  • Did we mutually determine a next step to deal with the issue?

Happy hard-conversating.

 

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